Friendships - How to pick and be a “good friend”

The Power of Good Friends — Including the One Inside Your Head

Strong friendships are one of the most powerful predictors of mental health and life satisfaction. But while most of us know how valuable it is to have a good friend, we rarely ask: am I a good friend to myself?

🤝 The Mental Health Benefits of Friendship

Good friendships offer more than just companionship. Studies show that strong social bonds are linked to:

• Lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression

• Improved emotional regulation and resilience

• Better immune function and physical health

• A stronger sense of identity and belonging

Healthy friendships are built on trust, curiosity, compassion, honesty, and presence — the same qualities we often struggle to give ourselves.

💬 Being a Good Friend to Yourself

Self-friendship isn’t just about bubble baths or positive affirmations (though those help!). It means showing up for yourself the way a true friend would — with care, accountability, and curiosity.

This includes:

• Offering compassion during hard times, instead of self-judgment

• Setting boundaries that protect your well-being

• Celebrating your efforts, not just your outcomes

• Questioning your inner critic when it speaks unfairly

🧠 Challenge Your Inner Narrative

Being a good friend to yourself also means being willing to challenge your own beliefs — especially the ones that come from old wounds or unexamined fears.

Ask yourself:

• Would I say this to a friend?

• Is this belief kind, true, and useful?

• Where did this story come from — and do I still want to carry it?

Curiosity is more powerful than certainty when it comes to self-growth.

🌱 Real Relationships Start Within

The way we speak to ourselves sets the tone for how we show up in relationships. By becoming a better friend to ourselves, we create space for deeper, more authentic connections with others.

📍At Mend Psychology in Bridgeland, Calgary, we help clients explore both internal and external relationships — with compassion, evidence-based tools, and a commitment to growth.