Back to School Blues for Parents and Co-Parents

Written By Shivani Brown

As August winds down and the school supplies list grows longer, many parents and co-parents feel the familiar surge of stress that accompanies the back-to-school season. While the focus is often on how children adapt to new grades and classrooms, it's equally important to acknowledge the emotional and logistical load parents carry — particularly in co-parenting arrangements.

At Mend Psychology in Bridgeland, Calgary, we support families navigating life’s transitions with compassion and evidence-based care. This season, we’re focusing on the mental health challenges and opportunities that come with the return to school — not just for children, but for the adults guiding them.

Why Back-to-School Season Is Emotionally Complex for Parents

While the return to school can bring structure and routine, it also introduces:

  • Time pressure and scheduling conflicts

  • Financial strain related to school supplies, extracurriculars, and childcare

  • Parental guilt or anxiety over academic or social adjustment

  • Communication tension in co-parenting dynamics

📊 According to a 2022 survey by the American Psychological Association, 63% of parents report back-to-school season as a significant source of stress, especially those managing shared custody or blended family roles. 📊

These stressors are not just "in your head" — they activate the body's stress response systems, which, when prolonged, can contribute to burnout, anxiety, sleep disruption, and irritability.

The Mental Load: Invisible but Heavy

Parents, and particularly mothers, often carry the “mental load” of school transitions — keeping track of forms, lunches, appointments, and emotional check-ins. This kind of cognitive strain has been shown to increase rates of chronic stress, especially when coupled with work demands and lack of support.

For co-parents, the stress can be compounded by the need to coordinate schedules, transportation, and discipline strategies across households — which requires strong communication and emotional regulation, especially if the co-parenting relationship is strained.

Psychological Flexibility and Coping Tools

Psychological research emphasizes the importance of psychological flexibility — the ability to stay grounded and values-focused in the face of stress. Tools like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), communication skill building and Solution Focused Therapy, which we use at Mend Psychology, help parents:

  • Identify and act on core values (e.g., being a present, patient caregiver)

  • Set realistic expectations and boundaries

  • Practice self-compassion instead of perfectionism

  • Communicate their needs neutrally

🧠 Studies show that parents who practice psychological flexibility report lower levels of parental stress and higher family satisfaction. 🧠

(Williams et al., 2020, Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science)

Co-Parenting During School Transitions: Common Struggles

Some of the most common back-to-school co-parenting challenges include:

  • Disagreements over routines (e.g., bedtime, homework rules)

  • Uneven division of labour

  • Inconsistent communication with teachers or schools

To reduce tension, it can help to:

  • Use shared digital calendars or apps like OurFamilyWizard

  • Define clear responsibilities before school starts

  • Present a unified front to children, when possible

  • Seek family therapy or co-parenting coaching if conflict persists

Prioritizing Parental Mental Health

When parents are supported, children thrive. That’s why it’s essential to view parental well-being not as a luxury, but as a foundation for healthy family functioning.

At Mend Psychology, we work with parents and co-parents in Bridgeland and across Calgary to:

  • Manage anxiety, stress, and burnout

  • Strengthen co-parenting communication

  • Develop emotion regulation and conflict resolution skills

  • Reconnect with their personal values, not just parenting duties

Support for the Season Ahead

Whether you’re juggling school lunches, new routines, or complex co-parenting dynamics, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Back-to-school season is an opportunity to reset routines, clarify boundaries, and prioritize emotional health — for yourself and your family.

📍 Located in Bridgeland, Calgary, Mend Psychology offers individual therapy, parenting support, and family counselling both in-person and online.

🗓️ Book a consultation today to support your mental health this school year.

Shivani Brown
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