What does it mean to forgive?

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as weakness or a way of letting someone “off the hook.” In reality, psychological science tells us that forgiveness is a powerful, active process — and one that can lead to measurable improvements in mental and physical health.

At Mend Psychology, located in Calgary’s Bridgeland neighbourhood, we support individuals through life’s most difficult emotional experiences. Whether you’re processing betrayal, family conflict, or self-directed guilt, our clinicians offer evidence-based approaches to help you heal — including exploring the science and practice of forgiveness. The choice to consider forgiving somebody who has wronged you is complex, nuanced and deeply personal. We are here to help guide you through the process, regardless of what you decide.

What Is Forgiveness — and What It’s Not

In psychology, forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or event, regardless of whether they deserve it.

Importantly:

• Forgiveness is not forgetting.

• It is not condoning harmful behavior.

• It does not require reconciliation or contact.

Instead, forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the emotional grip of past harm so that you can move forward in alignment with your values and well-being.

🧠 According to Dr. Everett Worthington, a leading forgiveness researcher, “Forgiveness is primarily for you — not for the person who hurt you.” 🧠

The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness has been linked to a range of psychological benefits, particularly in reducing symptoms of:

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Post-traumatic stress

• Chronic anger and rumination

A 2020 meta-analysis published in Clinical Psychology Review found that forgiveness interventions significantly reduced symptoms of depression and increased psychological well-being, particularly when clients learned to forgive as part of a structured therapy process.

📊 One study found that people who practiced forgiveness over six weeks showed a 70% reduction in depressive symptoms compared to those who did not (Toussaint et al., 2018, Journal of Health Psychology).

Forgiveness and Physical Health

Holding onto anger and resentment can have real consequences for your body. Chronic stress associated with unforgiveness has been linked to:

• Elevated cortisol levels

• Increased blood pressure

• Impaired immune function

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is associated with lower physiological stress responses, improved sleep, and reduced risk of cardiovascular disease.

The Neuroscience of Letting Go

Brain imaging studies have shown that forgiveness activates regions associated with empathy, perspective-taking, and emotional regulation, including the medial prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex.

This suggests that forgiveness is not just a spiritual or moral act — it’s also a cognitive skill, one that can be strengthened with support and practice.

Forgiveness in Therapy: A Guided Process

At Mend Psychology, our Bridgeland-based psychologists incorporate forgiveness work into treatment when it aligns with a client’s goals and emotional readiness. This might involve:

• Cognitive processing of the hurt or trauma

• Values clarification (e.g., through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

• Self-compassion and mindfulness techniques

• Grief work and meaning-making

Forgiveness is often part of healing from abuse, betrayal, infidelity, family estrangement, or even self-blame — and it looks different for every person.

“You can forgive and still choose boundaries. Forgiveness is about healing your inner world, not changing someone else's behavior.”

Why Choose Mend Psychology in Bridgeland?

Located in the heart of Bridgeland, Calgary, Mend Psychology offers accessible, science-based therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Whether you're navigating longstanding wounds or want to explore forgiveness in the context of your broader mental health journey, our licensed clinicians are here to support you with compassion and expertise.

Begin Your Path to Healing

If you're feeling weighed down by past hurt or struggling to let go, you’re not alone. At Mend Psychology, we believe that healing is possible — and that forgiveness can be a powerful step in restoring your mental well-being.

📍 Now accepting new clients in Bridgeland, Calgary — both in-person and online.

🗓️ Book a confidential consultation today to learn how forgiveness therapy can support your growth.